Becca's Baby Blog

Sleep success!

2009-10-23T18:30:00.000-07:00

Way back when, I promised that if I ever solved our co-sleeping and breastfeeding to sleep dilemma, that I would post about it on here. Well, I am quite thrilled to say that we have.

We ended up doing a form of cry it out. I know, I'm a horrible mommy blah blah blah. Whatever. Anyway, I got a book called Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell. We mostly followed the advice in the book, but tweaked it a little for our specific situation and child.

The first few nights were tough but then it got easier. she goes to bed around 7:45 now and fusses for a few minutes, then conks out. We do a bed time routine and I read her the same story every night and Josh sings to her. So that has become her bedtime cue, instead of nursing being the cue.

The first couple weeks, she still woke up at night a lot and I would bring her to bed and nurse her. Then we gradually started encouraging her to stay in the crib. If she woke up, first we would wait to see if she would put herself back to sleep. If not, my husband would go in and rub her tummy and sing to her. It was key that he went in, not me. If I went in, she expected to nurse and then became inconsolable if I didn't nurse her. Sometimes the singing puts her right to sleep, other times she had to cry some to get back to sleep.

Once she was going to bed in her crib and sleeping relatively well, we then tried to stretch how long we can get her in the crib. So we would say, tonight she has to stay in the crib until 2 am, even if she cries some, and that really worked for us.

She is now sleeping all night in her crib and many nights, we do not hear her wake up at all. She still cries every now and then around 2 or 3 am. My husband goes in and sings to her until she falls back to sleep.

My milk supply had to adjust, and I had some very uncomfortable mornings between 5-7 am. I ended up waking her up to nurse a few times. If I did that, I brought her to bed with me for the rest of the morning until we got up for the day. My supply had adjusted now, but I still am very full by around 7 am and the first nursing of the morning can be a little painful.

Now we are working on napping. She is used to nursing to sleep for naps too, and I really want to get her to nap on her own consistently. That way, if she is with a sitter or we decide to put her in daycare, she can still nap. She has one nap around midday. We are having some success with getting her to fall asleep in the crib, but she is not sleeping very long. I remind myself that this is how the nighttime sleep situation was at first too. I felt like that would never get better, but it did. So nap time will get better too...I hope.

Sleep training has not been an instant fix. It has been more like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. But the key is that we are making progress and we are all much happier and better rested--my husband, me and Iris too.

My baby is one

2009-10-07T09:14:00.001-07:00

I don't know how this happened. Where did a year go?

Iris is running around all over the place and always smiling and getting into stuff. She imitates everything we do. If I check my watch, she checks her "watch." If I lick my finger to clean her face, she cleans my face. If Daddy makes a lewd gesture--well I guess he better not do that anymore.

She is not speaking much yet, but I definitely think she is saying "mama" or more like "mamamamama!" But I can tell that she is understanding so much more of what we say. It's fascinating to watch her language comprehension skyrocket.

Iris loves music now. Whenever she hears music--from a toy, a radio, even a cellphone ring--she will start to dance and clap.

Walking in Her Big Girl Shoes

2009-08-07T18:51:00.000-07:00

Sleep, Teeth, and a Big Move!

2009-08-07T18:39:00.001-07:00

So, I am still not getting any sleep. We are still co-sleeping and nursing to sleep--because Iris has been teething non-stop for the last two months! I am ready to tear my hair out. And when she teethes, she gets sick. Two weeks ago, it was coxsackie virus. This week, it's a cold. So I haven't had the heart to try and change our sleep routine. Sighhhhhhh.

Speaking of teeth, I guess these are her canines coming in? They seem to be a lot worse than the incisors were, because she is up all. freaking. night. She has THREE coming in right now, and I'm sure number four is not far behind. You suck, canines. Or molars. Whatever you are.

Anyway, our big news is that we are moving to beautiful Asheville, North Carolina! We are very excited and I think it will be a great change for Iris too. The neighborhood we are moving to is a lot more kid-friendly and there are two playgrounds within a couple of blocks. And I think I will get very toned pushing a 20 pound kid in a stroller up those mountain roads.

Of course, I'm not too excited about the actual moving with a baby part. We'll have to see how that goes...

10 months

2009-08-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

Wow, I haven't updated in forever. I spend all day chasing Iris, and I hardly get any time to sit down and blog anymore!

Iris is an expert walker these days. When she sees a person she likes, she follows them, which is funny when it's some random stranger. If you open a door, she has to walk through it or she gets mad.

She points at objects and says "Ba!" (or "Ga!" or...well, you get the gist). We try to ask her "Where's Mommy" or "Where's Daddy," and have her point. She gets it right some of the time, but I'm not sure she has made the connection yet.

We are still nursing and it has gotten a little more complicated now that she is so interested in the world around her. She latches on and off a billion times. She has also learned that if she pulls my shirt down, she can get to the nipple any time she wants, which is rather embarrassing. I try not to flash people in public, but I can't make any promises these days. Warning: You may see my nipple. You'll get over it.

9 months

2009-06-30T12:49:00.001-07:00

It's hard to believe Miss Iris has now been here in the world longer than she was in the womb. At her nine month check-up, she weighed 20 pounds even and was around 27 inches long. She has 6 adorable teeth!

These days, she does not even sit still to eat. She has learned how to climb up stairs and giggles when I follow behind her, as if I am chasing her. I don't let her try to climb down yet, even though she wants to, because it's scary how absolutely fearless she is.

A big milestone--she has taken her first steps! She can stand unassisted now (although sometimes she ends up crouching like a sumo baby) and take up to four steps, wobbling around like a drunken frat boy and lurching to hold on to something before she falls.

Some other new talents--she claps and waves back at us. She is eating lots of solids now and will pretty much eat anything, although she hasn't quite figured out chewing yet--she ends up storing pieces in her cheeks and then spitting them out on her unsuspecting parents.

One not-so-great milestone--lots of whining and tugging at my clothes.

Sometimes she doesn't seem much like a baby anymore--more like a tiny toddler. I can't believe how close her first birthday is getting. People always tell you they grow so fast. I guess you don't realize it until it's your baby--but it's true!

Co-sleeping is my frenemy

2009-06-03T08:56:00.000-07:00

When Iris was a newborn, co-sleeping saved my sanity. But now, I think it's driving me to madness.

As a newborn, there was only one way I could reliably get her to sleep--nursing. Some babies will sleep in a swing or go down drowsy, but Iris has been a boob girl right from the start. The problem came once I got her to sleep. She is such a light sleeper that if I tried to lay her down in the bassinet, she would wake up and cry and we would have to start all over again. Every night, we would repeat this until around 2 am, when I would finally be able to get her down. But I was not getting enough sleep this way--I spent the first month of her life feeling like a zombie, desperate for sleep that never came.

Here's where co-sleeping came in. I soon found that if I nursed her to sleep in the side-lying position, she would fall asleep and I didn't have to move her. Even better, I could rest or drift off to sleep while I was nursing her, instead of sitting hunched over the Boppy glaring at the clock. When we started this routine, I finall felt like I was getting enough sleep to function at a reasonable level. Sure, Iris was still waking up every two hours, but at least we could both fall back asleep pretty quickly.

So co-sleeping was a lifesaver for us for a while. I figured we would keep doing it as long as it was working for us. Well, it's not really working anymore.

Iris is getting bigger and stronger. That means less room for me. That means harder kicks in the middle of the night. And the less space we have, the more we wake each other up. When she gets up, turns over and falls back asleep, I wake up--if she were in a crib, I would sleep through these stirrings. When I want to change positions in bed, it's like a stealth operation because she is still a light sleeper and the tiniest thing can wake her up. Plus, I just want my freaking bed back. I spend all day with her nursing or climbing on me or whining at me. I would like some space, at some point, that does not involve immediate proximity to a nine month old.

I'm not sure what we're going to do though. I don't see how I can transition her out of our bed without some kind of sleep training and listening to her cry. And if she continues to wake multiple times every night, am I going to have to get out of bed and get her back to sleep? Won't I just end up a zombie again like before? Stay tuned, folks.

Risks with Repeat Cesarean

2009-05-26T06:45:00.000-07:00

The more I learn about VBAC, the angrier I get that many women aren't even given the option to try one, and are basically forced into delivering by repeat cesarean.

THURSDAY, May 21 (HealthDay News) -- Babies delivered by elective, repeat cesarean section delivery are nearly twice as likely to be admitted to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) than those born vaginally after the mother has previously had a c-section, a new study finds.

These c-section babies are also more likely to have breathing problems requiring supplemental oxygen, the researchers say.

"In addition, the cost of the birth for both mother and infant was more expensive in the elective repeat c-section group compared to the vaginal birth after c-section (VBAC) group," noted Dr. Beena Kamath, the study's lead author and a clinical instructor of pediatrics at the University of Colorado School of Medicine, Denver.

The study appears in the June issue of Obstetrics & Gynecology.
Read more here

Momnesia alert!

2009-05-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

Momnesia--a mysterious disease in which a woman forgets all about the discomforts of pregnancy, the pain of delivery, and the complete sleep deprivation of the postpartum period. Momnesia is often found in conjunction with Baby Fever, another serious disease in which women become obsessed with babies. Forget swine flu--these illnesses have reached pandemic levels in our society.

Now, I'm not a doctor. I didn't go to medical school. But I am showing alarming symptoms of both of these diseases.

1. I caught myself thinking how wonderful it was to be 20-27 weeks pregnant. Aww wasn't I so cute and glowing and--wait a minute! My back hurt all the time. I couldn't sit anywhere for more than 15 minutes at a time. I had to pee every freaking minute. I had ridiculous Braxton Hicks contractions. My throat was constantly awash in stomach acid. A small child was using my internal organs as a punching bag. And that was the good part of pregnancy!

2. I have been thinking about what I want to do differently in labor next time, and a large part of it revolves around trying to avoid an epidural. What? I am planning to go through labor again? And without an epidural?? Don't I remember how horrible cervical checks were? Have I forgotten what it's like to have a contraction while you're trying to pee? Don't I remember how much labor totally freaking sucked?

3. I think about baby #2 a lot. What will I name him or her? What will he or she look like? What if it's twins? The real question is, what is wrong with me? Baby #1 is only 8 months old. She still wakes me up all the time, nurses 'round the clock and generally steals my sanity. Shouldn't I just take the time to enjoy her without planning out my next pregnancy? Or at least get her drinking from a sippy cup?

Quick ladies, put on your face masks.

8 months

2009-05-15T15:46:00.000-07:00

4 months until she turns 1...ahhhh!

What Iris has been up to lately:

Drumming on things. She loves when we drum with her!

Dropping toys on purpose to see what happens. She is training us to play fetch.

Standing on her own for longer and longer.

Fussing when we take something away from her.

Taking off her diaper--this girl cannot be trusted! If she can get at her diaper tabs, she will pull at them until they come loose. Then she will pee or poop on herself. Awesome.

Making "oh," "w," "m" and clicking sounds

Also, I just read that by this age, a baby's eye color is mostly set--so it looks like we have a blue-eyed girl, just like her mama!

Solid food success!

2009-05-06T08:04:00.000-07:00

I guess we won't be needing that keg after all! Miss Iris has finally discovered that I am not the only food source in the world. She has now eaten apple, banana, avocado, melon, potato and rice mushed up in breast milk.

After her initial refusal, I decided to try and get her used to the taste of solid food, without the texture. I started by eating apples and I let her lick some of the inside as I ate. She liked the taste and kept opening her mouth for more. We did this for a week and then I tried giving her pieces of fruit in a mesh feeder. I love the mesh feeders! They let her get small amounts of food without overwhelming her or creating a choking hazard. And she can hold them and feed herself. She loved fruit in the mesh feeder, so we did that for a little while.

Once she got more into the idea of solids, we have given her some food in a spoon and she gobbles it up. Such a relief for me. Being the sole food source for an 18 pound child is tiring!

Of course, now I have become a professional diaper inspector. What goes in must come out...

Teeth, round 2

2009-05-04T11:53:00.000-07:00

I spy with my little eye...one, two, three, FOUR top incisors, peeking through a gum.

Goody. I will report back if I still have nipples.

A great article on baby brains

2009-04-30T07:14:00.000-07:00

I'm sure every parent has looked into their baby's eyes and wondered what she was thinking, wondered what it's like to be a baby. Here is an article with some clues as to what goes on in your sweetie pie's head.

Why breast isn't always best

2009-04-30T06:42:00.000-07:00

When I worked as a doula in a local labor and delivery ward, there used to be a poster up that said "Breastfeeding may not be best for every mom but it's best for every baby." I don't know if it's still there, but if it is, I want to rip it down.

Yes, breast is best. Breastfeeding has many known health benefits to mother and baby and more are being discovered. But let's be realistic. We live in a society with numerous obstacles to breastfeeding, the kind that can ruin breastfeeding for even the most determined mothers.

Our culture views work and child-rearing to be separate and usually incompatible. Remember that humans were hunter-gatherers for most of human history. A hunter-gatherer mom can take her children with her while she works (gathering food, cooking, sewing, etc), so making a living doesn't interfere with breastfeeding. A mom who works in an office can't do that. She has to attend meetings, answer phone calls, etc. Few employers in the US have on-site daycares to allow her to nurse her baby throughout the day. So a mom who works outside the home often has two choices: to pump during the day, which can lower her supply and be difficult from a practical point of view; or she can feed formula. Since pumping is time-consuming and annoying, since it often leads to lower supply in many women and it can be awkward in the work place (finding somewhere private to pump, finding somewhere to store milk, possibly dealing with co-workers or supervisors who resent that you need to take time from your job to pump or who find pumping to be weird), it's no surprise that many working moms turn to formula.

Furthermore, maternity leaves in the US are often inadequate for breastfeeding. There is no guaranteed paid maternity leave in the US and many women only get six weeks off before they have to return to work. I can tell you from personal experience--and I know many moms will agree here--that at six weeks you are just starting to fall into a routine with your baby. You are just starting to feel like your life hasn't permanently become an insane jumble of diaper changes and 2 a.m. feedings. And if you are breastfeeding, you are probably just starting to get the hang of it. You see, for something so "natural," breastfeeding doesn't come naturally to a lot of moms or to a lot of babies. It's something you both have to work at together. Practice is key. At six weeks postpartum, many mom-baby pairs are just getting the hang of it--only to have it disrupted by mom returning to work. It's no wonder many moms feel like breastfeeding isn't worth it. They have struggled for weeks and it hasn't even gotten easy yet by the time many of them return to work.

And considering how "natural" breastfeeding is, there sure is a lot of misinformation out there. Since breastfeeding was discouraged in favor of the more "scientific" formula for decades, a whole generation of mothers raised babies on formula and women's wisdom about breastfeeding was lost in many families and communities. Because while breastfeeding is based partly on instinct (eg a the healthy newborn's instinct to suck), it is also a learned experience. Many mammals who have never been around babies of their species will not know how to nurse their own young, and the same thing can happen in humans. Breastfeeding can be hard--I didn't really understand that until I started doing it. When a mom gets bad breastfeeding advice, it can start a spiral of frustration, low supply and supplementing that can ruin breastfeeding.

Our culture also views breasts as sexual. We have trouble allowing breasts to have a dual role as both sexual and functional. Nursing is still seen largely as something to be done in private. Many moms feel uncomfortable nursing in public or in front of friends and family members, especially men--and many of those friends, family members, or members of the public also feel uncomfortable around a nursing mom. But a mom can't stay in alone with her baby all the time and maintain her sanity. So a nursing mom often has to decide between nursing in a possibly uncomfortable situation, or bottle-feeding whever she is out (or she can try to find somewhere private to nurse in public but that can be difficult and disrupt whatever she is doing).

When you add these things up--working away from your baby, getting incorrect information, discomfort with nursing in public--and mix in the ease of formula-feeding and the subtle pressures to formula-feed, is it a surprise that so many women do? And yet they are made to feel guilty about it at almost every turn, by hospital posters and reminders that breast is best and nosy cashiers asking why they have to buy formula. No matter how you feed your baby, it seems like you can't win.

So here's my point. I'm tired of our society thwarting breastfeeding in so many ways, yet guilting moms who then turn to formula. Because in this climate, maybe breast isn't always best. It's not best if a mom is miserable pumping all day. It's not best if no one in her family supports her. It's not best if the struggle to breastfeed is leading to postpartum depression or pumping is taking her away from spending quality time with her child. It's not best if a mom can't get past the sexualization of breasts and her unease with nursing. And it goes without saying that it's not best when there are medical reasons not to breastfeed.

So let's remember what formula really is--it's food. It's nutrtionally complete food that allows babies to thrive and flourish. And let's be grateful for that. I have read enough anthropology texts to be thankful that we have safe and healthy infant formula. In some societies where formula and clean water are not available, a baby who is not breastfed is as good as dead. In many parts of the world, weaning still correlates with an increase in child mortality. In some societies, if a nursing mother died, her child was thrown alive into the grave with her, because it was considered more humane than letting the child starve or die of infectious diseases. Granted, some of these societies don't have the cultural barriers to breastfeeding that I spoke of, so most children are breastfed--but the few who aren't face illness and death. So you bet I am glad we have infant formula.

Yes, I would like to say more babies breastfeed and breastfeed for longer duration. But until we can fix the real obstacles that new moms face, let's stop making moms feel bad for formula-feeding. They are doing the best they can.

Here's my question: can we promote breastfeeding without making formula seem bad? Can it really be effective until we fix some of the problems I mentioned above, like cultural attitudes, maternity leave policies, etc.?

Seven months

2009-04-28T09:17:00.000-07:00

Iris is an expert crawler now. It is so cute to watch her speed across a room on all fours. She is pulling herself up, cruising a little bit and even standing unassisted for a few seconds at a time. I am currently one of her favorite toys--apparently Mommy = awesome jungle gym. She has a lot to say, babbling and making razzing sounds all the time. I think this is the best age so far--she is so playful and happy.

She has recently discovered our cat, Winter, and likes to follow her around and try to pet her. Yelling and flailing your arms isn't the best way to befriend a cat, so Iris seems a little mystified why Winter runs away--but she is determined to follow kitty around and play with her. In addition to kitties, other babies fascinate Iris now too.

Iris also loves the super annoying Mini Sirloin Burger commercial. Every time it comes on, she stops what she is doing and crawls up to the TV with a big grin on her face.

Now that the weather is nice, we have been taking her out a lot. She seems mystified by grass and can't decide if she likes it or not--she kind of stares at it and plays with the blades.

A little less cute is her recent bouts of separation anxiety, where she starts crying if I leave the room even for a minute. Thank god for my Ergo carrier!

I may be breastfeeding her until college

2009-04-14T09:38:00.000-07:00

Sunday was our first wedding anniversary, so Josh and I made reservations at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and I busted out my new electric Medela Swing breast pump. I know, it's kind of weird to get excited about a breast pump (ok it's really weird) but I have come to loathe and abhor my manual pump and the Swing has a pretty motor and I don't have to give myself carpal tunnel syndrome for 2 measly ounces.

The Swing lived up to my dreams, mostly, and we sent her off to Grandma's with 4 freshly milked ounces, a bottle, a sippy cup, and a baby spoon. You see, Iris is a girl who knows what she wants. And she wants breast milk. Not a bottle. Not solids, be they actually solid or even liquid. Not expressed milk. She wants my boob, in her mouth. If it's not straight from the tap, she's not having it.

Previous bottle-feeding attempts have failed. So have apple, cantaloupe and banana. You'd think we were trying to poison her. So it was my hope that if she wouldn't take the bottle, she would like the sippy cup or the spoon.

Well, she didn't. Reports tell us that she refused the bottle and the sippy cup, became irate and screamed herself to sleep. She woke up only when we returned, started screaming again, and I put her to breast.

Sighhhhh.

She did eat a few tiny pieces of apple yesterday, so maybe there's hope. Or maybe I will just have to get her a milk keg for her dorm.

Is it to much to ask, really?

2009-04-13T08:29:00.000-07:00

So recently I went in for my annual exam. I made the appointment with my nurse practitioner, who I usually really like (in fact, I wish she were the OB).

She walks into the room and the first thing she asks is, "so, did you go natural?"

Um, not only did I not "go natural," I did not even "go vaginal." What with not being allowed to try the water birth I had already paid for and then having a failed induction and ending up with a c-section, the question was a little like a slap in the face.

Then I start to talk to her about my interstitial cystitis, which has been worse since I got pregnant, and she tells me that a lot of women have problems when they are breastfeeding and that I should try using estrogen cream. Ummmm it has nothing to do with breastfeeding.

I mean, I get that they have lots of patients and they can't remember everyone's exact history. But could you at least look at my charts before you walk in the room? If your patient just had a baby, can't you refresh yourself on how her delivery went? If she has a chronic disease, maybe you could read up on that part of her medical history before you offer advice.

I'm a person, not a number; for my sake, could you at least pretend?

Photoshoot

2009-04-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

Iris is teething again and I have no brain. In lieu of writing, I'm just going to post some pictures I took yesterday.

The Trouble With Repeat Cesareans

2009-04-02T07:08:00.000-07:00

A good article from Time on why VBACs have become rare and why repeat cesareans also carry risks.

Clicky

I think it's a shame that VBACs are unavailable to so many women, not because of medical reasons but because of insurance restrictions or hospital policies. This article makes a good point that if a hospital is not equipped to handle a VBAC, is it really equipped for any emergency cesarean?

The article also touches on why information about the risks of VBAC is so prevalent yet the risks of repeat cesareans are rarely discussed. It mentions that one complication of a c-section is an increased risk of developing placenta accreta in future pregnancies--and in the last 30 years, the number of placenta accreta cases has increased thirtyfold.

I haven't made any decisions about VBAC or repeat cesarean for my next child. My current OB does VBACs, but who knows if that will have changed or if we will even be living in St. Louis by the time we are having our second child. But I hope I will at least have the option.

What no one told me about breastfeeding

2009-03-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

I have been EBF for 6 months now but there was a time I NEVER thought I would make it this far! Breastfeeding is really hard the first few weeks and it takes a good 6 weeks to get into the rhythm. Here is what I wish I had known ahead of time:

1. Even if your baby is latched properly, you can have sore nipples. A lot of LCs say it shouldn't hurt if the latch is correct. But your nipples have to adjust, so for some women, it's normal to have pain at first. Since I'd always heard that it shouldn't hurt, I couldn't figure out what I was doing "wrong" and I seriously almost quit BFing because of it. But after some other moms let me in on this secret, I stuck with it and the pain got better until it was gone one day.

2. You probably won't like BFing at first. I think every pregnant woman who plans to BF pictures these serene peaceful nursing sessions and then feels horrible when reality is nothing like that. Don't feel bad! Nursing isn't fun at first, but after you and the baby get better at it, it does become that happy, peaceful picture you are imagining.

3. You and baby both have to learn. For something "natural," breastfeeding doesn't seem to come naturally to a lot of moms and a lot of babies. You both have to learn how to do it. Don't be discouraged or take it personally if your baby doesn't latch right away or doesn't know how. You will both get the hang of it.

4. Breastfed babies sometimes eat A LOT. I kept reading that your baby may nurse "up to" a half an hour, so I couldn't figure out why my daughter would nurse for 90 minutes at a time some days, and even more during growth spurts. Those marathon nursing sessions are really hard, but they are normal and they will pass. If you can use that time to read a book or come on the bump, it will be a lot easier.

The first 6 weeks or so are really trial by fire. I used to fantasize about formula. But if you can get through them, you will probably find that breastfeeding gets progressively easier. Your baby will learn to latch themselves and get more efficient at removing the milk too. So try to remember that the tough early nursing sessions are NOT indicative of how your whole breastfeeding experience will be. It gets better!

Beware of the Giraffe!

2009-03-22T15:56:00.000-07:00

If you are expecting or have welcomed a little one into your life recently, you may have heard about a sassy French giraffe named Sophie. Perhaps moms in your play group or baby board (*cough cough*) have raved about how much their babies loooove Sophie and how you just have to get one and isn't Sophie just the best teething toy EVAR.

Don't be fooled. Sophie is no ordinary baby toy, people. She costs twenty freaking dollars. That's right, twenty dollars for a glorified dog toy that your baby will slobber over and throw on the floor. Not only that, but she squeaks.

Don't give in to the mommy peer pressure like I did. I was all set to go to Toys R Us and buy some reasonably priced teethers. But Iris has rejected all her teething rings and letting her leave teeth marks all over my hands and drool on my knees, well, it was getting old.

So there we were in Cotton Babies buying Iris her new prefolds when our eyes met across the room, her long neck leaving a silhouette in the window. Zut alors! Sophie la girafe! And I gave in.

Sure, it seemed for a few minutes like Iris loved Sophie and I congratulated myself on finding the solution to the baby chew monster:

But like everything else we have bought for her, Sophie was cast aside an hour later in favor of cellphones and crumpled up paper. Why play with the baby car keys when we can try and get at the real car keys? Why chew on Sophie when we can chew on Daddy's Moto Q?

Don't fall for Sophie's coquettish charms. Look at her whorish make-up, her soulless black eyes. Sophie is a threat to parents everywhere. In order to spread the word, I have made this badge:

Warn everyone you know!

The affair is over

2009-03-19T10:21:00.000-07:00

So I posted before about how I had bought a dozen Bum Genius one-size diapers. Well I've been using them a few months now and I'm not that impressed. I still think good old prefolds are the best way to diaper--and the best value.

My issues with BG:

1. Because they are made of manmade materials (as opposed to cotton, bamboo, etc), they are more prone to repelling issues. This means you have to be very cautious about what detergent you use and you cannot use ANY diaper creams directly on the diaper. If your baby gets a rash, you are supposed to buy special liners to use for as long as you are using diaper cream. Well, Iris is prone to rash and I ignored this advice and used some zinc oxide on her butt. BIG mistake. Now my BG are repelling. Repelling is when the diaper stops absorbing liquids; instead, the liquid beads up on the surface and runs off. Repelling = HUGE diaper leaks. So now I have to strip my diapers if I want to use them (which I do, because they were expensive). I never had problems using zinc oxide with prefolds. What a pain.

2. You have to take the insert out of the pocket to wash. Not a huge deal, but with a really wet diaper, it's kind of gross. With prefolds, I can hold the cover and just shake the prefold into the washer. Although I guess now that she will be starting solids, it won't matter too much because I will have to flush the poop first, regardless of which type of diaper she's wearing.

Since I needed more diapers anyway, I just bought another dozen prefolds and six more Thirsties covers.

I still like the BG. They are nice to have when we are out, or for people who are wary of cloth diapers. But considering how much more money they cost than prefolds, I'm just not sure they are worth it.

SIX months!

2009-03-18T11:18:00.000-07:00

Craaaazy. I can't believe Iris has been with us for half a year now. In some ways, I can't even imagine what life used to be like without her and in some ways, it seems like she just got here yesterday.

She is crawling like a pro now and sitting up unassisted. She is a girl on the move, ready to give her mom a head full of gray hairs.

At her check-up today, she weighed 17 pounds, 7 ounces and was 26 1/2 inches long, approximately the 75th percentile for both (Josh was disappointed she was no longer in the 90th percentile!)

Six months also marks an important goal for me. I always knew I wanted to breastfeed exclusively for the first six months. During the early weeks of blistered, sore nipples and marathon nursing sessions, the thought of making it six months seemed daunting, impossible. But I stuck with it and here we are! We are going to start her on solids in the next few days, but I hope that we will continue breastfeeding for at least another six months.

Need something else to worry about?

2009-03-06T08:43:00.000-08:00

Hey, moms, as if you didn't have enough mommy guilt over whether your baby uses a pacifier or gets enough tummy time or started solids at the right age, now there's more--you can worry if your front-facing stroller is ruining your child's chance to go to Harvard.

That's right. Front-facing strollers have now been accused of interfering with your child's early language development. And since we all know that the early years are the most important, this means that your Graco travel system may be the deciding factor in your child's entire education and career.

Or so a recent op-ed piece in The New York Times would have you think. According to this, researchers have found that moms talk to their babies less when they have front-facing strollers, as opposed to the old-fashioned type buggies where the baby faces the mom. Yep, that's all. No actual evidence or even correlation implying that this may interfere with language development. Oh, except that "British teachers have for some time been observing a decline in the linguistic abilities of many children, and some have wondered whether this might be one contributing factor."

Because you know, strollers are the only things that have changed in the last few decades about how we raise children.

I especially like the letters to the editor and blog comments where smug parents congratulate themselves on using the "right" stroller or baby carrier and then mention which college or career path their linguistically-gifted children have chosen, as if the one has anything to do with the other.

Fear-mongering at its most inane.

5 months

2009-03-01T11:40:00.000-08:00

Five months old! I am trying to enjoy these last weeks of having an exclusively-breastfed baby. We will be starting her on solids soon and then her poop will get gross LOL.

Iris has TWO teeth and she is getting so mobile. She can scoot all over a room and she can sit up unassisted for short periods. I can't believe how big my little girl is getting!

A few thoughts on bonding

2009-02-27T15:00:00.000-08:00

Bonding seems to be the magic word that gets thrown around in so many discussions about pregnancy and childrearing. And of course bonding is important. But I think sometimes it's overvalued, sometimes it's undervalued, and sometimes it's misunderstood.

When you are pregnant, everyone tells you how you will fall head over heels, love at first sight, when your baby is born. And some people do. But, well, that's just not true for everyone. Sometimes, a difficult delivery can interfere with bonding. After my delivery, I wasn't much interested in bonding. I was mostly interested in not throwing up and in getting something to eat. I remember during my doula training, we talked about how not every mom bonds right away. Our supervisor told us about how she had to have her placenta manually removed with no epidural; after that, she wasn't up for much bonding either.

Sometimes when a child is born preterm or sick, the parents will not feel bonded right away, maybe as a way to try and protect themselves in case the child does not live. I remember talking to an acquaintance not long after his twins were born three months early; he showed me pictures and spoke about how little the twins were, but I was struck by how detached he seemed. It was like he was talking about a stranger's children. A recent blog entry in Motherlode echoed this detachment:

While I was pregnant, people told me that when I first saw my baby, I would experience a love that called into question all the other loves in my life. They spun tales of a world filled with milk-sweet baby’s scalp, of hours gazing into the baby’s startled newborn eyes, of a world where the baby would fill an emptiness in my heart that I didn’t even know existed.
But that was not the world we inhabited after Stella was born. Our world was filled with shiny white floors and skinny babies in incubators and on open warming beds. Our world was filled with tubes and wires and flashing lights. In that world, you can’t count on anything. You must stash your heart carefully away. You must not fall in love, just in case.

If you've read much into med-free childbirth or seen The Business of Being Born, you have probably heard the anecdote that goats (or some other animal) that give birth by cesarean section reject their young. And it's true that a c-section may interfere with initial bonding. One recent study found that moms who had cesareans had different brain responses to their infant's cries than moms who had vaginal deliveries. C-section moms are also known to be more likely to develop post-partum depression.

But humans aren't goats or mice. Humans live in complex social groups and our children are dependent on us for many years. From a biological point of view, it makes sense that evolution would favor more complex bonding in humans than the initial, purely chemical bonding that occurs in some other animals.

So while we shouldn't undervalue bonding when we talk about the implications of hospital policies that separate mothers from their babies or the US c-section rate being over 30%, we shouldn't overvalue it either, in a way that simplifies the process to a few chemical reactions and makes moms feel like they are being attacked or have something else about which to feel guilty.

If you give birth by c-section, if you have a preemie or a difficult delivery, if you don't sing to your baby in utero or breastfeed, none of that means you won't be bonded to your baby. Human bonding unfolds over time. The preemie mom who wrote that blog post above went on to write that she fell in love with her daughter without even realizing it was happening. Afterall, mothers who adopt don't have any of those hormonal processes at work, and no one would suggest that they don't love their children. I didn't feel bonded to Iris right away, but now I just want to eat her up.

The bottom line is, you will bond with your baby in your own way, on your own time. If you don't feel a rush of love at your baby's first cry, it's ok. If you don't breastfeed or have a "natural" birth, you will be just as good at mothering as those moms who did.

However, if you still don't feel like you are bonding at all after a few weeks, you may need to be evaulated for postpartum depression.

Fetal Movement: what every pregnant woman should know

2009-02-27T09:53:00.000-08:00

Feeling your baby move inside you is one of the best parts of pregnancy, but it can also lead to concern--is my baby moving enough? Should I call my doctor? While I don't intend for my advice to replace real medical advice, here is what I think every pregnant woman needs to know.

Before 28 weeks, it is normal not to feel the baby consistently. You may not feel the baby everyday and you may even go a few days without feeling the baby. However, if you have a gut feeling something is wrong, call your doctor.

After 28 weeks, you should be feeling fetal movement consistently everyday. If your baby has a pattern of movement, tune into it and get to know your baby.

It is never normal to feel decreased movement. While it's true that babies will have quiet days and active days, there is never a point in pregnancy where movement normally decreases because the baby is running out of room. While you may start to feel fewer big kicks and more gentle rolls and swishes as your baby grows, the overall amount and pattern of movement should stay the same. Even in labor, you should feel an active baby.

If you notice that your baby is not moving as much as normal, do a kick count. Eat or drink something sugary, lie on your left side and count movements. All fetal movements count as a "kick," so include rolls, swishes, etc. Do not count hiccups. If you feel fewer than 10 movements in 2 hours, call your doctor.

Do NOT rely on a home doppler device if you suspect decreased fetal movement. Just because you pick up a heartbeat does not mean everything is OK. A fetus in distress is still alive, so they still have a heartbeat, but they will slow their movements to conserve oxygen and they need medical help. You are probably not trained to read fetal heart tones and interpret them. So don't rely on your home doppler device to determine whether everything is OK.

Do NOT wait until your next appointment if you suspect decreased fetal movement, even if it is the next day. Call your doctor right away. If it is after hours, your doctor should have an exchange or on-call number where they can be paged. Or you can always call your hospital's labor and delivery department.

Most likely, your baby is just having a nap. But this is a situation where it's better safe than sorry. In 50% of stillbirths, the mother noticed decreased movement first.
Calling your doctor could save your baby's life.

File under, "WTF?!"

2009-02-25T12:15:00.000-08:00

An invention filed with the U.S. Patent Office allows pregnant women to partially insert a balloon in the vagina and push it out, in order to practice giving birth. According to the patent, when inflated in the vagina, the balloon tapers conically toward the waist, which "causes the orifice of the birth canal to dilate in a manner similar to that caused by the emerging head of a baby." Pregnant women can then "exercise by pushing the balloon out of the vagina in preparation for giving birth." Supposedly repeatedly birthing the balloon will make the real thing easier and less painful, but is better to just do it once and get it over with?

(link)

Mama's little jailbird

2009-02-24T09:21:00.000-08:00

I thought this striped outfit from Target would be great for a black and white photo shoot:

Nursing pictures

2009-02-18T13:38:00.000-08:00

I took a few pictures while nursing Iris today. I especially like the second one. Expectant moms take note: if you are nervous about nursing in public, note that even when I get right in there with my camera, you can't really see nipple. With a nursing tank top, it's easy to be discreet!

Clogged duct misery!

2009-02-13T11:07:00.000-08:00

I woke up two nights ago around 2:30 a.m. to find that one of my breasts was mysteriously rock-hard and sore. At first, I just thought it was too full so I put Iris to nurse. After two nursing sessions, it was still hard and sore. WTF.

With some sleuthing and help from my La Leche League book, I determined that I had a clogged duct. Just like it sounds, a clogged duct is when one of the milk ducts in your breast gets blocked and inflamed, and the milk cannot flow out of the breast. The signs of a clogged duct, in my case, was that half of my breast remained hard and tender, even after nursing or pumping, and it felt lumpy. Nursing was very painful.

So, uggggh! Operation Unclog the Booby!

I started with a hot shower. Naively, I expected that a few minutes of heat and massage would work out the clog. Um, no. Shower = fail.

I tried pumping. I tried nursing. I tried sitting around with my Gerber Breast Therapy hot compress on my boob. I tried massage. I tried several of these things at once, and took another hot shower and a hot bath. I pumped and I took Tylenol. All = fail. By bedtime, still clogged up!

Now I began to panic. A whole day's worth of milk was building up and couldn't be released. I pictured armies of bacteria stumbling upon this feast, multiplying like mad, leaving me sick, feverish, struck with the nursing mom's nightmare, mastitis. I was never going to get this clog out. I would have to call my OB and who knows what they would do.

That night, I had to sit-up to nurse Iris, instead of our usual side-lying position, because of the pain. I was still clogged in the morning and just tired of expending so much energy on my freaking boob. Zombie like, I continued to heat up my compress and feed Iris.

And then sometime in the afternoon, I noticed my breast felt soft again. The clog was gone. Where did it go? I guess Iris, um, ate it. I thought I would feel it go away like a big rush of sweet relief, but nope, it just disappeared. I am still a little sore, but feeling much better! And no sign of mastitis.

So if you have a clogged duct, here's how to get rid of it:

Heat--you can use a compress, a hot bath or shower, a heating pad, anything that will heat your breast. Some people suggest filling a bowl of hot water and letting your breast soak in it, so that gravity is also helping.

Massage--massage around the clog, trying to work it toward the nipple. You should feel a hard or lumpy texture where your breast is clogged. It will hurt a little to massage, but keep working at it, to break up the clog and get it out.

Nurse or pump--keep milk flowing out of your breast as much as you can. You want the unaffected area of the breast to be as empty as possible, so it doesn't further irritate the situation. Nursing or pumping will also help to work out the clog

Reduce inflammation--take Tylenol or ibuprofen to bring down any inflammation in your milk duct.

Time--don't expect the clog to come right out. Keep working and eventually it will. But it could take 2 or 3 days.

Know when to get help--if you spike a fever, develop body aches or chills, or your breast seems to be getting worse, it could mean mastitis, so call your doctor! If you are having trouble freeing up your duct and feel you need an expert's help, call a lactation consultant or La Leche League leader.

Things that ook me out

2009-02-08T11:40:00.000-08:00

1. The way you can see a baby's soft spot pulsating.

2. Baby with a runny nose + breastfeeding = snot on my boob

3. When my milk lets down for no apparent reason

4. The skin around my c-section incision is both numb and really sensitive. What is that about? Pick one.

5. When Iris falls asleep with her eyes open and I can see her eyes staring like a zombie or rolling around in the sockets.

6. You know how there is fore-milk and hind-milk? Well, there is also fore-spit-up and hind-spit-up.

Boobies beware!

2009-02-08T11:23:00.000-08:00

Josh made the unsettling discovery (at least, unsettling for me!) of a sharp, hard object in Iris' lower jaw last night. And sure enough, this morning, there it was--the top of tiny incisor, erupting through her gum.

Nom nom nom.

Me:

2009-02-03T17:11:00.000-08:00

The "four month wakeful" has reduced me this. I am the undead, parenting. I don't even want brains. Just six hours of blissful, uninterrupted slumber.

People always ask if Iris sleeps through the night. Um, I don't think I've slept through the night since I was like 16 weeks pregnant. So STFU!

OK I am off to go stumble through the streets. Sleep... Sleeeeep...

A weird breastfeeding encounter

2009-01-31T14:11:00.000-08:00

When you have an exclusively breastfed baby, you end up nursing in public a lot. If you didn't, you would never leave your house. So I have breastfed in restaurants, on buses, in gardens and zoos. I have done it sitting, standing and walking around (that's what she said). And I have been lucky that no one has said anything to me. Most people probably think she is sleeping.

Well two days ago, I was nursing Iris on a Northwest Airlines flight and for the first time ever, someone made me feel like I was doing something gross. I was feeding Iris and trying to keep her from fussing when the (male) flight attendant draped a blanket over Iris and me and then walked away. I had not asked for the blanket and he had not asked my permission. It wasn't cold on the plane (in fact, it was warm). I can only conclude that he noticed I was breastfeeding and thought this was something that needed to be covered up.

I should add that I am always discreet when I nurse in public. You can't see my nipple. I don't whip out my boob. And I was in the window seat, FFS, with my husband sitting next to me.

The flight attendant was kind of a jerk anyway. When we ended up sitting an hour on the runway, he got pissy when Josh got up to change Iris (the seatbelt sign was on!). So whatever. I took the blanket off and went about nursing Iris. I'm not going to sweat under a blanket while I feed my baby just because some dude is uncomfortable.

Someone please tell me

2009-01-26T08:51:00.000-08:00

that the loose belly skin will go away someday!

My linea nigra is fading. I have made peace with the remaining stretch marks. I understand that sit-ups are required to tone up my abs and I take responsibility for not doing them. I choose to ignore my c-section scar and live in denial that it exists.

But the loose skin! My bellybutton looks like it is being eaten by quicksand. Will I ever wear a bikini again? Will I forever be stuck in one-piece Mom suits? Please say no.

Four months!

2009-01-20T14:26:00.000-08:00

We took Iris in for her four month appointment and she happened to weigh exactly double her birth weight--she was 15 pounds, 4 ounces. She was also 25 inches long, which puts her in approximately the 90th percentile for height and weight. I think we can safely say those are Daddy's genes!

She rolled over, back to tummy, for the first time on her four month birthday! It has made diaper time interesting because she tries to roll over and escape mid-change. She is ready to explore the world! Now if she could just figure out how to crawl, she would be unstoppable!

She has gotten very good at grabbing and holding things. She wants to touch and pick up everything.

And she has started to laugh a lot. Nothing is cuter than baby giggles! She likes when I fake sneeze or blow kisses at her, and tummy raspberries are hilarious!

A witness to history!

2009-01-20T14:05:00.000-08:00

Bad breastfeeding advice

2009-01-19T11:37:00.001-08:00

I have heard this advice a lot recently, coming from obstetricians and pediatricians and even lactation consultants who should know better. It is some variant of this: "limit the baby to 5-15 minutes on each side and nurse no more than every 2 hours"

Pregnant ladies and new moms, this is horrible advice! Here's why:

Sore nipples--yes, this is recommended to help prevent sore nipples. But it can actually contribute to sore nipples. As most breastfeeding moms can attest to, if you have sore nipples, the worst pain comes with the baby's initial latch. If your baby does not get enough to eat in 5-15 minutes (which is very likely), you will have more nursing sessions of a short duration, which means more latches than fewer nursing sessions of longer duration. More latching = irritated nipples.

Engorgement--when your mature milk starts coming in a few days postpartum, the best way to avoid painful engorgement is to nurse, nurse, nurse. If you are limiting your baby's nursing sessions, they may not remove the milk from your breasts quickly enough and you may become painfully engorged. Engorgement makes it harder for the baby to latch, which is especially a problem for brand new babies who are still learning how to nurse. Engorgement can also contribute to clogged ducts and breast infections. Ouch!

Low supply--this sounds counter-intuitive to what I posted about engorgement. But if you continue to limit your baby's nursing sessions and force them onto a schedule, you may hurt your supply. In the first few weeks of breastfeeding, you are telling your breasts how much milk to make by how often you put baby to breast. If you are limiting that, your breasts will drop their production levels. You may end up with insufficient milk supply, not because there is something physically wrong with your breasts, but because they did not get the right cues on how much milk to make.

Hungry baby--Books and experts sometimes say that newborns will nurse "up to" 15 or 30 minutes on each side, every 2-3 hours. Well, they don't seem to have met many real live babies. My daughter often settled in for marathon nursing sessions, literally for hours with small breaks in between. I believe that she knows better than some book whether she is hungry. If you try to limit your baby's nursing or force them onto a schedule, you may be preventing them from eating their fill.

Failure to Thrive--related to the hungry baby paragraph above, limiting nursing can cause insufficient weight gain and failure to thrive. Not only can you prevent your baby from getting enough milk, but you may be preventing them from getting enough of your hind milk. This is the milk that is rich in fat that comes later in the feeding, after the baby has finished your fore milk. Without enough hind milk, babies can not gain enough weight. The amount of hind milk and how quickly your baby gets to it varies, so there is no magic formula telling you how long they need to nurse to get enough hind milk.

Screaming baby--Babies nurse not only for nourishment but for comfort. Many young babies need to nurse to fall asleep, and it make take them awhile. If you only feed the baby when they are hungry and refuse to let them comfort-nurse or nurse to sleep, you may end up with an inconsolable, screaming, over-tired baby.

So here's some real breastfeeding advice for those early weeks: nurse, nurse, nurse. Get help early and often when you deliver, to make sure your baby is latching properly. When your baby cries, offer the breast. Nurse them whenever they want, for as long as they want. This is the best way to avoid engorgement and low supply and will help prevent clogged ducts and mastitis. It will ensure your baby is not being denied the milk that they need. It will allow your baby to be comforted at your breast, help them to sleep, and teach them that Mommy will always be there to love and care for them.

When babies blog

2009-01-13T14:42:00.000-08:00

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$140!

2009-01-11T17:41:00.000-08:00

I have raised $140 for the March of Dimes already! And every penny (dime) of that has come from generous people on the internet that I have never even met in person. But I still need help to reach my goal.

If you are reading this, please consider sponsoring me in the March of Dimes' 2009 March for Babies. Even if you can only spare $5 or $10, your contribution will ensure that fewer families know the heartache of preterm birth, birth defects and infant death.

Please visit my March for Babies page at http://marchforbabies.org/irisvictoria

Please join me

2009-01-06T11:16:00.000-08:00

Please join me in supporting the March of Dimes in raising money to prevent preterm birth, birth defects and infant mortality.

This year, Josh and I are participating in the 2009 March for Babies, a fundraiser for the March of Dimes. You can view our page at http://marchforbabies.org/irisvictoria

Please consider sponsoring us, participating in the walk yourself, or making a donation to the March of Dimes. Every little bit counts.

One day, all babies will be born healthy.

I'm a Bum Genius convert

2009-01-04T15:51:00.000-08:00

Back from Argentina (the truth is I never left you) and to our regularly scheduled blogging.

We have been using Bum Genius 3.0s for about a month now. I got a great deal on them at Cotton Babies and bought a dozen. I love them! They are very easy to use, super absorbant, and adorable.

The downside is that they are a lot pricier than the prefolds and covers we were using, so we may still buy some larger prefolds and covers (Iris outgrew the old ones when she hit 13 pounds) to throw into the rotation. However, the price is somewhat made up for because they have three sets of snaps to allow the fit to change with your growing baby.

Bum Genius 3.0s are supposed to fit from 8-28 pounds, as long as you care for them properly, so they may not be a good choice for the newborn period. But if you are considering CD, Bum Genius 3.0s are an option I highly reccomend.

They come with a one year warranty. If you buy them from Cotton Babies, they will also allow you to wash and test drive one--if you don't like it, they will refund your purchase.

Hola from the Southern Hemisphere!

2008-12-25T16:15:00.000-08:00

Hola! I am blogging from Salta, Argentina. I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas and a happy Chanukkah!

So far, I am surviving my travels with a three month old, but it is probably not something I would want to repeat. All things considered, Iris handled the trip here really well and only had a few meltdowns. Our very helpful flight attendant on the Dallas-Buenos Aires flight felt the need to point out to us, ¨"your baby is crying a lot." Thanks, I hadn´t noticed the tiny person screaming in my lap. Maybe if you would turn the plane lights down now, since it´s 11 o´clock at night, instead of bringing the Duty Free cart through first, my baby would stop screaming and go to sleep. Just a thought.

However, there are definite perks to traveling with a little one. When we arrived in Buenos Aires, there were several lines to get through Immigration. The lines were all full except the one for "diplomats, pregnant women and disabled people," which was empty. An official let us go through that line. Great success! (Sorry, Josh made me watch Borat yesterday). I was recently pregnant so it kind of counts. We also were waved through Customs without even having to speak to a customs official. I guess they don´t think you can be a smuggler and have a baby. I mean, there´s only so much room in your suitcase and who would pick illegal goods over diapers?

It has been rainy so we have mostly just hung out around the house. We are in the countryside on the outskirts of the city of Salta. We have beautiful mountain views and there are horses and tobacco fields all around, and a rooster somewhere nearby(yes, I find that exciting).

Iris had her first Christmas and Chanukkah here, kind of a hybrid holiday. In Argentina, everyone gets together on Christmas Eve and celebrates at midnight. For Christmas, Iris received a handmade sweater from her great grandmother. Josh´s family has a very close friend, like family, who is Jewish, so she came over and brought us homemade latkes and a custom-made menorah. She gave Iris a beautiful gold chai necklace (a Hebrew word that means "life").

It has been wonderful introducing Iris to all her family here and we hope Argentina will be an important partof her life.

Chao for now!

Don't cry for me, Argentina

2008-12-20T14:18:00.000-08:00

Josh, Iris and I are off to Argentina tomorrow! We will be there through January 1, 2009 and return to our regularly scheduled blogging when we return.

To all my blog readers, best wishes for Chanukkah, Christmas and the New Year!

Things I discovered in my closet

2008-12-17T10:46:00.000-08:00

So Josh and I had this Christmas party to go to last week. This would be our first time getting dressed up and leaving Iris since she was born, and my first time putting on a dress in a long time in which I was not spherical. I eagerly go to my closet and take out my red taffeta dress with ribbons that I bought last year right before my BFP, and which I have never worn. I slip it on, so far so good, not too much belly flab and then--it will not zip up.

Discovery #1--I still don't fit into all of my pre-pregnancy clothes. I know, it takes 9 months to put on all that weight, you should expect at least 9 months to lose it. But :whine: I really wanted to wear that dress. It is so pretty.

Well fine. I would have to wear a strapless bra with it anyway and I'm pretty sure none of those fit. Just for funsies, I decide to try on my strapless bra and see what the situation is there.

Discovery #2--My boobs are completely different sizes. Yes, it's normal to have some asymmetry. Yes, I knew that I had more supply on one side. But I did not know that they were totally different cup sizes! This means my pre-preg bras fit one boob and my nursing bra fits the other. Maybe I should cut them all in half and sew a new bra that will fit my freakish dimensions.

Now I am grumpy. I find my brown halter dress which has no zipper and is made of a nice stretchy jersey. It fits. Yay. Except--

Discovery #3--the size difference is, um, really obvious in a halter. OK, this isn't so bad, right? Twelve year old girls deal with inadequate boobage all the time, right?

Discovery #4--reusable nursing pads make great bra stuffers! After some experimentation, I stumble upon a winning formula: it takes 3 Medela cotton nursing pads to equal one cup size's worth of breast enhancement. A little bit of adjusting, nothing peeking out and

Discovery #5--I really like my new rack. Thank you, millions of years of mammalian evolution. After 24 years, I finally have cleavage.

Three months!

2008-12-13T14:12:00.000-08:00

This photoshoot did not go very well since pretty much all she does these days is slobber on her hands.

I feel like this is a milestone. Iris is no longer a little baby. And we are halfway to my breastfeeding goal of 6 months.

Things she likes lately: Christmas songs and tie-dye

One year ago...

2008-12-10T08:44:00.000-08:00

We were just starting this crazy journey, although we didn't know it yet...

Moooo!

2008-12-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

Pumping makes me feel like this:

My first pumping attempt was a success. I got 2.5 ounces out of one side--not bad for my manual pump. It feels weird though and made it a little painful to nurse Iris afterward.

However, I must keep milking myself. I would like to see a movie again one day.

Oh and yeah, I tasted a little bit. Really sweet, in a gross way. Sorry, PETA, I think I will stick with cow's milk for my ice cream.

Mooo!

Fluffy butt!

2008-12-03T15:03:00.000-08:00

My cloth diapering experience so far

2008-12-03T14:06:00.001-08:00

I really love cloth diapering. I like it even more than I thought I would because, let's face it, I'm probably one of the laziest people on the planet. It's not that I hate doing laundry, because I don't. It's not that bad. And yet I avoid it as much as humanly possible (if you have seen my closet, you know I can do that because I own five million items of clothing), just on principle.

But with a baby, you can't avoid laundry. Babies = pee and spit up and leaked milk on pretty much every surface with which they come into contact. So laundry has become a way of life for me now.

Because of that, I don't find cloth diapering to be any more inconvenient than diapering with disposables. Since breastfed poop is water-soluble, I just throw the diapers in with the dirty baby clothes and nursing tops; this means I'm not actually doing any extra laundry. I was a load approximately every other day. Not bad for a laundry hater. (Yes, I know this will change once she starts solids).

We are diapering with Chinese prefolds and Thirsties diaper covers and I love them both. We initially picked these because they were the cheapeast way to cloth diaper. I have never had a diaper blowout (now I've cursed myself!) and we rarely have leaks. Prefolds are great to have around for many different uses (as I mention in my post below, Cloth Diaper 101). And the Thirsties covers come in so many cute colors!

It's great not to worry about budgeting for diapers every month. And if I see that we are low on diapers, I just throw them in the wash instead of running to the store.

One thing that hasn't proven true about cloth diapering for us is that it prevents diaper rash. Iris had a pretty persistent diaper rash for about 8 weeks. However, our pediatrician thinks she just has sensitive skin.

Coming soon to a baby near me

2008-12-03T13:56:00.000-08:00

Iris is working on laughing and trying to figure out what those things at the ends of her arms can do. She hasn't gotten the laughter right yet--so far, she kind of makes a coughing noise. I think she'll get it soon. Using her hands is even further off, but I can see the wheels turning. She has started to look at things and kind of flail her arms in that direction. It will be a while, I think, before she can actually aim for things and grab them. Until then, hands will just be yummy chew toys and things to scratch Mommy with.

One new skill that has kind of freaked me out is she learned how to latch onto the breast by herself. This seemed to come out of nowhere a few weeks ago. Obviously she still needs me to get her head in the right place, but now she can latch by herself. Before, I needed to pretty much stuff it in her mouth for her.

This is a little disconcerting when I think she is done nursing and I'm paying attention to something else, and then I suddenly feel my nipple being slurped into her little mouth. She is like a little vacuum. Scary.

Cloth diaper 101

2008-12-03T10:04:00.000-08:00

If you are thinking about cloth diapering, it may seem a little confusing at first. Today's cloth diapering parents have many options available.

Why cloth diaper? Cloth diapering has many pros. It is far cheaper than having to buy disposables every month. Cloth diapers do not contain the industrial chemicals found in disposables and are gentle on sensitive baby skin. Cloth diapering contributes far less waste to the environment. Finally, cloth diapers are MUCH cuter!

Cloth diaper options

Prefolds--prefolds are basically big cotton rectangles. They are folded into a diaper cover. For non-mobile babies, you do not need to fasten the prefold at all. For active babies, prefolds can be pinned or fastened with Snappis.

Prefolds are the cheapest cloth diaper option. They are also the most versatile. Prefolds can be used as burp cloths, changing pads or to wipe up baby messes. If you use pocket diapers, prefolds can be used as inserts. Prefolds can be used as cleaning rags years after baby has been potty trained. And they can be cut up into washable breast pads.

Fitteds--like prefolds, fitted diapers require a waterproof cover. However they do not need to be folded or fastened; fitted diapers are already shaped to fit your baby.

Pockets--pocket diapers look like disposables, except made of fabric. They contain a pocket. In the pocket, a cloth insert is used to make the diaper absorbant. Inserts can be doubled up for increased absorbancy.

All in Ones--these are the easiest diapers and the most like disposables. Like their name suggests, they are all in one piece--no covers or inserts required. AIO's are the most expensive cloth diapers.

Diaper covers--diaper covers are waterproof covers that go over a prefold or fitted diaper. They velcro or snap to keep the diaper in place. Covers come in many cute colors and patterns.

Snappis--Snappis can be used instead of old-fashioned pins, to keep a prefold in place.

Choosing a diaper--when choosing a diaper, think about your needs. Are you willing to do a little extra work to save money? Prefolds or fitteds may be a good choice. Are you willing to spend more money for diapers that require less work? You may want pockets or AIOs. If you are not sure, you can buy a few of each or buy some used diapers to try--that way, you don't spend a lot of money on diapers you may end up disliking.

How many should I buy? You should start with 25-30 diapers. This will be a load of laundry about every other day. If you are diapering with prefolds or fitted diapers, you will also need 6-10 covers.

Washing diapers--diapers should be washed in hot water with an extra rinse cycle. You should use a detergent with few or no additives--i.e. dyes, perfumes, enzymes or brighteners. These additives may interfere with the diapers' absorbancy or irritate your little one's skin.

What about the poop? If your baby is exclusively breastfed, their poop is water soluble. That means you can throw dirty diapers right in the wash. If your baby is formula fed or eating solids, you will need to rinse the diapers first. You can buy a sprayer to remove poop, or use rice paper liners in the diaper that can be easily removed and flushed down the toilet.

Diapering accessories
Diaper pail--a trashcan with a foot pedal makes a great cloth diaper pail, or you can buy a pail specifically made for diapers. You may want to get a few washable liners. When it's time to wash, just throw the liner in with the diapers.

Wipes--if you're cloth diapering, you may also want to use cloth wipes instead of disposable wipes. These can be thrown right in the wash with the diapers. You can buy specially made cloth wipes, use washcloths or make your own out of prefolds or fabric.

Diaper cream--some diaper creams may interfere with the absorbancy of your diapers, by building up on the fabric over time. Check to make sure your diaper cream is compatible with your diapers. If not, you can use liners.

Diaper service--an alternative to washing your own diapers is to employ a diaper service. A service will deliver clean diapers to your door every week and pick up your dirties for laundering. It adds cost to cloth diapering but is usually still cheaper than using disposables.

With a diaper service, you typically do not own the diapers. You will be sharing diapers with other customers and have to use the diapers that the service provides. However, diaper services follow strict sanitation codes, so that disease is not spread via their diapers.

A diaper service is a good option for those who cannot wash their own diapers or simply don't want to. They may not be available everywhere, so check your local yellow pages.

Where to find cloth diapers--you may have a local boutique that sells cloth diapers. Bum Genius brand diapers are now sold in Target stores. If you are lucky enough to live in St. Louis, you can shop at the Cotton Babies store in South County.

If you can't find diapers at a brick and mortar store, there are multiple websites that sell them, like Cotton Babies, Jillian's Drawers, Kelly's Closet or Green Mountain Diapers

Doing a trial run--not sold on cloth diapering or not sure which type to use? You can buy used cloth diapers on DiaperSwappers and Jillian's Drawers . Many diaper websites also sell starter packs, which let you try different diapers and see which ones you like.

Cloth diapering on the go--cloth diapering is easy even when you are out and about. Bring a washable wet bag, or a plastic shopping bag, to hold dirty diapers. You can use flushable rice paper liners if you are concerned about carrying poopy diapers around.

First plane trip = a success!

2008-12-03T10:00:00.000-08:00

Our first plane trip with Iris was a success! The air pressure changes did not bother her at all and she slept most of the time.

I am nervous, though, for our upcoming trip to Argentina. We have three flights just to get there--much more opportunity for baby meltdowns. I'm not sure how we're going to change diapers in an airplane bathroom but I imagine it will involve a screaming baby.

Iris had a good first Thanksgiving. I think she liked her turkey-flavored breastmilk haha.

2 month check-up

2008-11-20T17:59:00.000-08:00

Iris had her 2 month check-up and she looks great. She is 12 pounds and in the 80th percentile for length and 75th for weight. Um, MY baby? Was she switched in the hospital?? Do I dare to hope she may one day--gasp--be over five feet tall??

She also had her two month vaccinations--4 injections and one oral vaccine. Poor little pumpkin! It is so hard to watch your child in pain, even when you think it's for the best. Luckily, she did not have any bad reactions to the shots. She just slept the rest of the day and didn't run a fever or become unusually fussy.

We take her back in January for her 4 month check-up.

The pregnant man

2008-11-15T16:40:00.000-08:00

As you've probably heard, the pregnant man is knocked up again.

Now, personally, I don't have a problem with transgender people or gay people having children or getting married or whatever. I don't think people or families or gender identities always fit into neat little boxes. If some woman wants to be a dude and use male pronouns and keep his uterus and have a baby, I'm cool with that.

But you know what pisses me off about this? How come I had to have a c-section, and even the pregnant MAN got to have a vaginal delivery?

Homebirth article

2008-11-13T15:50:00.000-08:00

From the New York Times

Home births have been around as long as humans, but since the 1950s, the overwhelming majority of American women have chosen to give birth in hospitals, which the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists identifies as one of the safest places for the unpredictable and sometimes dangerous process of childbirth. (The group has officially opposed home births since 1975, and this year the American Medical Association adopted a similar position.)

Recently, though, midwives and childbirth educators say, a growing number of women have been opting instead for the more intimate and familiar surroundings of home — even in New York City, where homes are typically cramped warrens of a few hundred square feet and neighbors often live close enough to hear every sneeze and footstep.

2 months old!

2008-11-13T15:25:00.000-08:00

Baby Mittens saved my cleavage

2008-11-04T13:54:00.000-08:00

Before I had a baby, I used to think baby mittens were stupid and why would anyone buy them?

What I didn't realize was that babies are actually born with talons. This allows them to claw their way out during labor. It also lets them create a red crosshatch pattern on your decolletage, lest you try to use your breasts for anything other than feeding your precious angel.

If you value your skin, you will buy baby mittens. You see, when your darling bundle of cuteness arrives, you will be too scared to trim their tiny nails. Even if you are brave enough to attempt this daring feat, you don't want those tiny fingers free to claw at your areolas.

So get baby mittens. In fact you should get several pairs, because your little beastie will slobber all over them and you don't to lose an eye or a nipple while they are in the wash. Plus, they make your baby look like a boxer and then you can serranade them with "Eye of the Tiger."

Breastfeeding update

2008-10-31T17:14:00.000-07:00

So things have improved so much since my last post, "Breastfeeding Sucks." I don't love it but I would no longer say it sucks.

Things are still a little tender when she first latches on, but the pain is mostly gone after that. We are have both learned and improved a lot, although I feel like that is still an ongoing process.

Now that my nipples no longer hurt so much, I can nurse her lying down in bed, which has made an AMAZING difference in the amount of sleep I get. I can just drift off while she eats. And she just falls asleep there too. When I was nursing her sitting up, she would fall asleep at the breast, but would always wake up and start crying when I tried to put her down to sleep, so this solves that problem too.

Now that the pain is mostly gone and we have gotten better at latching, I can really appreciate how convenient breastfeeding is. I don't have to get out of bed to feed her in the middle of the night, or worry about mixing formula or cleaning bottles. When we go out, I don't have to worry about whether I've brought enough formula. Traveling will be much easier too. And it's such a relief not to worry about the cost of buying formula, especially since Josh works on commission and has an income that fluctuates monthly.

And I feel so close with her while we are nursing. I love looking down and seeing her beautiful little face there. When I see how she has grown and developed, or how happy and calm she is when her tummy is full, I know it's my milk and that I am directly responsible for how strong and healthy she is. I love that we have a special relationship--anyone can give her a bottle, but no one else can breastfeed her.

I am so happy that I stuck with it during those really hard weeks. New moms, hang in there. It's so worth it.

She's smiling!

2008-10-31T17:01:00.001-07:00

It's amazing how quickly they change. I saw her first smile at about 5 and a half weeks. In the last few days, she has started smiling all the time. She also is babbling constantly now and is beginning to really interact with us. It's so rewarding to see her grow and develop and know that it is because of us and the care we are giving her. As a breastfeeding mom, it's great to know that my milk is making her healthy and strong.

I see boobies

2008-10-21T16:36:00.000-07:00

Ever since I started breastfeeding, I see breasts everywhere.

The Target logo? Boob.

City hall in Asheville, NC? Boob.

And look at this sculpture at the botanical garden. Its eye is a boob!

I'm worse than a thirteen year old boy.

Dun dun...dun dun...

2008-10-17T14:58:00.001-07:00

This is my daughter:

She may look like an innocent baby. Don't be fooled. When a boob comes out, she turns into this:

Just when you thought it was safe to take off your shirt.

4 weeks out

2008-10-17T14:21:00.000-07:00

It's been 4 weeks since we got home from the hospital

1. Breastfeeding is getting easier. It's easier to get her latched on. We have gotten pretty good at nusing while lying down, which brings me to

2. I'm getting more sleep. Now that we can nurse lying down, I am getting more sleep. I can doze off while she eats, and it's easier to get her to sleep, since I can let her just fall asleep there too.

3. Generally we are getting the hang of things more.

4. Postpartum bleeding is basically gone.

Article on infant mortality

2008-10-15T13:04:00.000-07:00

WASHINGTON — Infant deaths in the United States declined 2 percent in 2006, government researchers reported Wednesday, but the rate still remains well above that of most industrialized countries and is one of many indicators suggesting that Americans pay more but get less from their health care system.

Infant mortality has long been considered one of the most important indicators of the health of a nation and the quality of its medical system. In 1960, the United States ranked 12th lowest in the world, but by 2004, the latest year for which comparisons were issued by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, that ranking had dropped to 29th lowest.

4 week check up

2008-10-15T11:30:00.001-07:00

Iris had her 4 week check-up today and everything looks good!

She was 9 pounds even, yay! It's great to know that she is gaining weight right on track, especially since there are always people that tell you you're feeding your baby incorrectly, whether you are breastfeeding or formula feeding. And since I am breastfeeding, it's nice to know that I am providing her with everything she needs and that all my suffering has been worth it haha.

She got her second hepatitis B vaccine today. This was the first time I have been there while she had a shot and it was hard to watch--I've never seen her that upset before. I put her to breast right away and that really comforted her, but I am definitely not looking forward to her 2 month check-up. She will get four shots at that one, poor baby.

Our little pumpkin!

2008-10-14T18:08:00.000-07:00

We took Iris to a pumpkin patch over the weekend. Someone told us they didn't think she was getting much out of the trip but duh the trip was really for us! But of course we had to get some cute pictures of our pumpkin among the pumpkins.

1 month

2008-10-14T17:45:00.000-07:00

Look who's 1 month old!

41 weeks

2008-10-05T17:26:00.000-07:00

The last belly pics! Taken the morning of my induction at 41 weeks. 7 pounds and 10 ounces of baby in that belly!

2 week pictures

2008-10-05T15:26:00.000-07:00

My dad put this collage together of Iris at 2 weeks

And another picture I really like:

Breastfeeding sucks

2008-10-05T14:19:00.002-07:00

At least right now.

I know that's probably not PC to say and we should all pretend breastfeeding is wonderful so not to discourage anyone from trying it. But whatever. I think being honest about it is a better approach anyway.

Right now, it hurts when I breastfeed. I have seen several lactational consultants and La Leche League leaders and they all say I have her latched properly. I know I have her latched properly too. I've had her latched properly from the beginning. But it still hurts.

And all the books and experts say that if it hurts, you're doing something wrong. Well, that's just not true. Ladies, think about what happens when you buy a cute new pair of shoes. They make your feet hurt the first few times you wear them because you have to break them in. It's the same with nipples. Since we aren't National Geographic ladies, our boobs spend all their lives sheltered inside our bras. Having a baby suck on them every 2 hours is a huge change, and they need to get broken in too. It just makes sense. So why does everyone act like pain is not normal? I have spoken to many women about this now and so many of them had the same problem, so it's not just me.

So why not just be honest about it? Why not just tell people that breastfeeding is hard at first and you very well may hate it, but that it will pass in a few weeks and all be worth it?

One of the hospital lactation consultants I met with told me that the reason my nipples were blistering and bleeding was because I must not have had my baby latched correctly at first; and now that my latch was correct, the blistering would heal and stop happening. Well, it didn't stop. I still get blisters and sores, three weeks later, although not as much now. But there were times I would feed her and cry because I didn't understand why it was still happening, when the LC had told me it wouldn't anymore. What was I doing wrong? I was so tempted to just go out and buy formula because obviously this was just too hard to do correctly.

I think if people are just told this, that it will be hard sometimes even though you are doing it right, they will be more likely to stick with it. The number of women who start off breastfeeding in the hospital is pretty high, but that number drops off precipitously once they get home and over the next few months. Maybe part of that reason is because no one told those moms how hard it would be and told them they must be doing things wrong when maybe they weren't.

So yeah, here's my honest experience. So far, at least, breastfeeding sucks. It sucks because it hurts when I feed her too often and it hurts when I don't feed her often enough. It sucks because I leak milk onto my clothes and I wake up damp sometimes. It sucks because she wants to nurse every two hours or more, for an hour or more at a time, and it's the one thing no one else can help out with. It sucks because nursing in public is still stigmatized so I have to find a way to be "discreet" while I struggle to get a screaming newborn latched on.

But I'm sticking with it, one feeding at a time. Because I still think it's worth it.

Nipple twisting

2008-10-05T14:19:00.001-07:00

Will someone please tell my baby that this violates several different international treaties?

2 weeks later

2008-09-30T16:07:00.000-07:00

Before I delivered, my doula told me that when I got home from the hospital, I should mark two weeks out on my calendar and make it my goal to get to that day. Then when I made it, I should think about all the things that have improved in those two weeks.

Today is two weeks since we came home from the hospital and we've made it this far. I'm still exhausted and we are working on nursing issues. But here is my list.

1. I have much less pain from my c-section and I've been off my pain meds since 6 days post-op.

2. Postpartum bleeding has decreased significantly.

3. Breastfeeding is still painful but much less so.

4. Iris is gaining weight well and having the right number of wet and dirty diapers.

5. Winter is not totally freaked out by the baby anymore.

Now I mark another two weeks out.

Iris Victoria is here!

2008-09-20T15:18:00.000-07:00

So of course this is the week that my laptop decides to completely die ($500-700 repair estimate, boo).

Iris Victoria arrived on September 13, 2008, at 5:37 p.m. She was 7 pounds, 10 ounces, and 20 1/4 inches long.

I want to post a longer version of the birth story, but she was born by c-section after around 25 hours of labor and an hour of pushing. She was posterior (head down, but facing the wrong way) and basically got stuck in my pelvis and couldn't fit through. A c-section was not what I wanted, but we all made it through and everyone is doing well.

Here are pictures of our baby girl.

Rx for childbirth please

2008-09-11T17:40:00.000-07:00

My OB wrote me a prescription for my labor induction. I thought that was kind of funny. I wonder if they would turn me away if I forgot it. "I'm sorry ma'am, you need a prescription to have a baby here. We don't have any over the counter labors available."

Induction tomorrow

2008-09-11T17:28:00.000-07:00

We are going in for an induction tomorrow at 41 weeks. I'm kind of conflicted about this. But I've done some research and some thinking and talked to my doctor about it. She says that she used to be fine with waiting until 42 weeks, but now studies show that inducing at 41 weeks instead of waiting actually lowers the chance of c-section because the baby is less likely to have complications from being postdates. I have found some studies that show inducing at 41 weeks is best and some that show it's no better than expectant management, so there is no clear answer. Part of me feels like we could probably wait and be ok, but I am just so sick of waiting for labor and it never coming.

My cervix is "favorable," so that factored into my decision. I'm already effaced and 3 cm dilated. That means that 1) we can skip straight to Pitocin, so hopefully the induction will go quickly and 2) the induction is less likely to fail and end in a c-section. I really want to avoid a c-section.

However, this does mean no water birth for me. I will have to be monitored constantly so I will be pretty limited in my options. I realize this may mean no med-free birth for me. I'm pretty disappointed about not being able to do a water birth and frustrated that I haven't gone into labor on my own. I've tried plenty of natural labor induction techniques and at most gotten some Braxton Hicks that fizzled out. We also paid $200 for the tub, non-refundable, so that really sucks.

The skin on my belly is raw and itchy and getting worse. So at least inducing will mean an end to that.

It's hard to believe tomorrow will be my last day of being pregnant! I feel like I've been pregnant forever.

Oh and I guess this means there will be one more belly pic for 41 weeks!

For my fetus:

2008-09-09T12:01:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm still pregnant

2008-09-08T18:43:00.000-07:00

Baby apparently really likes her perfect temperature swimming pool in there. But...

AAAARRRGHHGHGHGHG

I have developed a pregnancy rash on my belly in the last 2 days and I want to rip my skin off. My doctor recommended caladryl but it isn't helping at all.

As of today, I am 3 cm and effaced. So whatever--hopefully it means I will go into labor soon but not necessarily.

My OB wants to induce me on Friday, when I will be 41 weeks. Until then she wants me to do non-stress tests. Of course I totally don't want to be induced. I think 41 weeks is early to worry about inducing for post-dates. The good news is that since I'm already effaced and dilated 3 cm, she said we could go straight to Pitocin and that the induction would be more likely to succeed. The bad news is I would not be able to have my water birth. I would be stuck on the monitors, so I would not be able to move around as much either.

Sighhhh

40 weeks

2008-09-08T17:35:00.000-07:00

This better be my last belly picture.

Come on out, little bun!

39 weeks

2008-09-03T19:11:00.001-07:00

I'm having a fair amount of cramping (it feels like right before my period starts) and a lot more Braxton Hicks, which are also becoming more intense. No other early labor signs, but at least my uterus is doing something.

I'm getting really bored and antsy. I don't feel well enough or have enough energy to do much, so I feel like I am just sitting around and waiting. I'm ready (as ready as possible) to move on to the next phase, but it's not up to me.

In the last weeks of pregnancy, the placenta changes to allow larger molecules to pass through. This means the baby starts getting maternal antibodies, giving the baby temporary immunity to diseases that the mother is immune to, in preparation for life outside the womb. Lungs and other organs continue to mature. Hormonal changes in both the baby and the mother are working together to start labor.

Baby is putting on about half a pound a week these days. Mommy is putting on about 2 pounds a week haha.

38 weeks

2008-09-03T19:04:00.000-07:00

Well, my stretch marks are having babies. At least someone is.

I think baby is sitting lower this week because I'm having a lot less heartburn. So that's good. If she keeps moving lower, eventually she'll come out!

Me

2008-09-02T12:56:00.001-07:00

If you wonder why I haven't posted recent belly pictures, it's because I've been spending my time like this:

That's right. Too lazy to even upload pictures from my camera onto my computer. I think this is a new low.

Why being full term is messed up

2008-09-02T12:53:00.000-07:00

When you are full-term, you start to actually want things like:

-a big glob of snot to come out of your crotch

-to see blood when you pee

-to have diarrhea

Because they are early labor signs. It is messed up, I tell you.

All I have are nosebleeds. Not the bloody show I'm looking for.

You are not an obstetrician

2008-08-29T08:39:00.000-07:00

Dear blog reader, I am talking to you. You are not an obstetrician. I know you like to think that you know everything. We all do. But this is one area that is not your field of expertise. (Unless you are an experienced doula or Suzanne, who is in medical school and has done an OB rotation and actually delivered babies--then you at least have some ground to stand on here).

Because you are not an obstetrician, here are a few things you don't know:

1. How big my baby is. You really can't tell this by looking at the size of someone's belly. Belly size and appearance are determined by a number of factors: how tall they are, their build, how strong their abdominal muscles are, what position the baby is in, how much amniotic fluid there is, what station the baby is at, et cetera. My belly looks large because I am only 4'10". But I've been measuring exactly average my whole pregnancy. A woman a foot taller than me who is measuring the same will look a lot smaller in comparison.

I bet you can't tell me how much fluid I have, can you? I didn't think so.

2. Whether I will need a c-section. You can't tell by looking at someone whether their baby will fit for a vaginal delivery or whether they will need a c-section. First of all, height is not what matters here. It's the size of someone's pelvis. And not even the external part of the pelvis that you can see as their hips. It's the size of their pelvic outlets, inside their body. And since we established above that you also can't tell how big the baby is, you have no way of knowing whether the baby will fit through the pelvis or not.

During delivery, the pelvic joints stretch and the baby's skull compresses. So even if you could measure a person's pelvis and their baby's head, you still wouldn't know for sure if they would fit until they are actually pushing. True cephalo-pelvic disproportion, when they don't fit, is very rare and usually the result of a skeletal deformity in the mother, due to something like rickets or dwarfism.

Can you tell the size of my pelvic inlet and outlet by looking at me? I didn't think so.

3. When I will deliver. Even if you could check my cervix (which would involve you sticking your hand up my vagina, so let's not go there), you still wouldn't know. Cervical exams don't tell you when labor will start. They just tell you what has already happened. They don't make labor come any sooner, either. You also can't tell by looking at me when I will deliver.

Can you see the future? I bet you can't.

4. Whether my OB is right or not. My OB actually went to medical school, unlike you. She is one of the best OBs in the area. Because you don't have her experience, haven't seen my medical records and haven't been providing me with prenatal care, you can't exactly give a valid second opinion. Now, I'm not saying doctors are always right. I'm a big advocate of doing your own research instead of blindly following medical authority. But I have done my research. I picked a doctor I felt would give me good care. I know how to say "no" if I need to.

Did you exam my medical records? I hope not, because that would be a violation of federal law.

In conclusion, unsolicited medical opinions from people with no medical training--well, they kind of make me laugh.

Let's talk about vulvas

2008-08-21T10:54:00.000-07:00

Because you don't get to use the word "vulva" nearly enough in life.

And because everyone should have a happy crotch.

My old gynecologist was all about the vulva. She was really gung-ho. I think her mission in life was to get everyone to use olive oil during sex instead of artificial lubricants like KY jelly. She gave all of her patients a list of how to care for their vulvas. You see, the vulva is unique and special. It is not like other body parts. It is a delicate flower that needs to be treated as such.

I don't have her original list but here is one I found online that hits on the same points:

Guidelines for Vulvar Skin Care

Laundry:

* Use a mild enzyme-free soap (such as Woolite Gentle Cycle or All Free and Clear) on any clothing that comes in contact with your vulva (use 1/3 to 1/2 the suggested amount per load). Other clothing may be washed in the soap of your choice.
* Do not use fabric softener or dryer sheets on any clothing that comes in contact with your vulva.

Clothing:

* Look for underwear or exercise clothes with "cool max" or breathable "wick-away" fabric. Wear all cotton underpants – not nylon with a cotton crotch.
* Thongs may also cause irritation due to mechanical rubbing.
* Avoid pantyhose – many manufacturers are making thigh-high stockings.
* Avoid tight clothing and clothing made of synthetic fabrics. Remove wet bathing suits and exercise clothing as soon as you can. These will not cause a yeast infection, but can mechanically irritate the vulvar area.

Bathing and Hygiene:

* Avoid bath soaps, body washes, lotions, gels, and other products which contain perfume. No soap is best in the vaginal area. If you must use soap, Cetaphil, Basis, Aveeno Oatmeal and Neutrogena soaps are the soaps recommended.
* Do not scrub vulvar skin with a washcloth – washing with your hand or running water is enough for a good cleansing.
* Avoid all bubble baths, bath salts, scented oils and hot water.
* Pat dry rather than rubbing with a towel.
* Avoid all over-the-counter creams or ointments and anti-yeast medications without asking your health care provider first. Remember, anything used locally in the vaginal area has the potential to cause burning or irritation.
* Never douche.
* Avoid the use of deodorized pads and tampons. Do not use Always pads or minipads. Tampons should only be used when the flow of blood is enough to soak one tampon in four hours or less. Tampons are safe for most women, but wearing them too long or when the flow of blood is light may result in vaginal infection, increased discharge or toxic shock syndrome. If pads are irritating, consider using "Natrucare pads." These pads can be found in health food stores.
* Do not shave the vulvar area. Shaving may cause irritation and lead to infection.
* Avoid scented toilet paper.
* Avoid all feminine hygiene sprays, perfumes, adult or baby wipes. Pour lukewarm water over the vulva after urinating if urination causes burning. Pat dry rather than rubbing.

Comfort Measures:

* Soak in lukewarm bathwater with 4-5 tablespoons of baking soda to soothe vulvar itching and burning. Soak 2-3 times a day for 10-15 minutes.
* Cool compresses are often helpful, as is splashing down with cool water.
* To decrease irritation, small amounts of A&D Ointment or Crisco Shortening may be applied to the vulva as often as needed to protect the skin. This may also help to decrease skin irritation during your period and after urination.
* Dryness during intercourse may be helped by using a lubricant. A small amount of almond oil, which can be obtained at health food stores, is recommended for lubrication. Astroglide, available from the pharmacy, should be used with condoms.

Birth Control Options:

* The new low-dose birth control pills do not seem to increase the chances of getting a yeast infection.
* Contraceptive jellies, creams or sponges may cause itching and burning. A brand change may be helpful. Discuss the different brands available with your health care provider.
* If you use condoms, we suggest you use nonlatex polyurethane condoms, such as Avanti brand or Trojan (certain ones). Latex condoms cannot be used with almond oil.

Smoking:

* Smoking has anti-estrogenic properties. Stop smoking! This will contribute to vaginal health.

(link)

Boodle update

2008-08-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

So we've been doing Boodle's full treatment for about a week now and he is doing much better. He is eating well and has really perked up. He is more active and affectionate and generally like his old self, although maybe a little more subdued. He doesn't like the treatment, but he is a pretty forgiving cat. We are getting the hang of things slowly, after a rocky start last week.

We had his kidneys checked again and they are better than they were. He is still in renal failure, but the numbers have improved. That's really all we can hope for.

So we are going to continue treating him and have his values rechecked in a month. It's great that the vet doesn't want to see us for another month because when this first started, we didn't even know if he would live another month. So if it continues like this, that is great.

Also everyone at the vet says how sweet he is and what pretty blue eyes he has.

The bad news is, he has started to smell really bad. It is from the uremic wastes building up in his body. Since he is a cat and he licks himself, the smell gets all over his fur. It really sucks and the vet says there's nothing we can really do about it. I've decided the person on Friends who wrote "Smelly Cat" probably had a kitty with chronic renal failure.

Winter no longer likes Boodle because of his smell. That kind of makes me sad. She will forget about it, and go up to say hi to him--then she gets a whiff and hisses and runs away haha.

And I'm going to post a random picture of kitten Boodle now (and me at 16. You know you are jealous of my fuschia bra straps):

37 weeks

2008-08-17T15:08:00.000-07:00

Full-term!!!

I am officially "uncomfortable." People keep asking me that, so, yes. Even though labor could be weeks away, I feel like things are heading in that direction. I feel a lot more pressure in my back and pelvis and a lot more pelvic pain than last week. Braxton Hicks are getting more frequent and more unpleasant. Ooh and I have a few stretch marks now, right over my belly button.

So baby is theoretically ready to live in the real world now. Her lungs should be mature and ready to start breathing air. Now I get to wait until she decides to come out.

Oh and she is the size of a watermelon. My last fruit *sniffle*

The third trimester

2008-08-16T18:18:00.001-07:00

is like being a hot air balloon. Big, round and full of gas. Ha ha.

Although lately I feel more like this:

Or this:

And this post would not be complete without this:

To Do List

2008-08-15T18:48:00.000-07:00

In no particular order:

1. Pack hospital bag
2. Wash cloth diapers
3. Put together glider
4. Install car seat
5. Find infant CPR class to take
6. Pick a pediatrician already!
7. Buy a birth ball
8. Get postpartum and breastfeeding supplies (e.g. compresses, breast pads, etc.)
9. Rearrange some furniture

OK, when does this alleged "nesting instinct" kick in? I could really use some of that right now.

Sad kitty news :(

2008-08-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

Josh and I found out last week that one of our cats, Boodle, has chronic renal failure. Unfortunately, this is an incurable, fatal disease. We can treat it to try and slow the progression but the vet said that with his kidney levels, we were probably looking at 6 months at best. I am just heartbroken over it. Boodle was an 8 week old kitten when I got him, and I was 16. He has been a part of my life for so long. But I expected him to be a part of my life for years more to come.

This news came out of nowhere. Boodle is only 8 and had seemed to be in perfect health. He always checked out fine at the vet's. And his illness seemed to come on suddenly. If you look at the pictures I posted at 35 weeks, there is a picture of me holding Boodle. He seemed fine then. I even emailed that picture to my mom and we talked about how great he looked. If you told me that within 24 hours of taking that picture, my cat would be seriously ill, I would not have believed you. Even when he did get sick, he didn't seem that bad and I thought he would just need a round of antibiotics. So this was really shocking news.

Boodle's symptoms were a decreased appetite (he would eat canned food but not kibbles), bad breath, drooling (we learned these were because of mouth ulcers, caused by the toxins building up in his blood) and just generally acting withdrawn. He was hospitalized for three days on IV fluids to try and help his kidneys and medicine to treat the mouth ulcers. When we visited him in the hospital every day, he seemed like his old self. He was very alert, affectionate and purry, demanding attention from us. Josh and I were optimistic that although his long-term prognosis was bad, we could bring him home and he could have some quality months of life left.

But since we have gotten him home, he has seemed pretty sick again. He mostly sleeps all day. He is eating some but still being picky. He purrs a little, but not like he used to or even like he was in the hospital. I hate to see him like this.

We are having trouble with the treatment routine. He sometimes refuses the special kidney diet and other times doesn't. We are having a lot of trouble getting him to take the sub-cutaneous fluid injections he needs. We also have to give him antacid and medicine for the mouth ulcers, which isn't so bad but it's never fun having to squirt something down a cat's throat. I am really struggling over whether treating him is the right thing to do or if it would be better to put him to sleep.

To complicate things even more, our other cat, Winter, is jealous of the attention Boodle is getting. She has been hissing at him ever since he got home. He still smells funny so I think that is part of the problem, but it makes me sad to see them not getting along at a time like this, when they always used to cuddle and sleep together.

I will be full-term tomorrow and haven't gotten any of the stuff done in the last two weeks that I wanted to, because of this. It is hard to think about caring for a newborn and having a sick pet at the same time. It is hard to think about whether or not to euthanize our cat. I hate to think that just when we will be saying hello to our baby, we may be saying good-bye to a kitty who has brought so much happiness into our lives.

Stupid pregnancy comments

2008-08-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

I've reached the conclusion that some people just don't know what to say to pregnant women, but they feel they have to say something. So they end up saying totally stupid and sometimes even offensive things.

My personal favorite of the moment is "You look like you're ready to pop." Now that I'm about full-term and gigantic, people have started to say this to me. OK. I know they mean well. So I resist the urge to say something like "Actually, that's not how babies are born--they come out of the vagina." But think about it--how is that a nice thing to say to a person? I mean, really. Pregnant women already feel enormous and self-conscious enough without people telling them they look like they are so huge they are going to explode.

Here are some others things you shouldn't say to pregnant women unless you are really close and already ask each other intrusive, personal questions:

Was it planned? When is it ever acceptable to ask a person about their sex life? Pregnancy doesn't make it ok.

Are you keeping it? I shouldn't have to explain what is wrong with this question, but yes, people actually asked me that.

Are you sure you're ready for this? OMG, you're right, I'm not! I'll just tell my uterus to have a miscarriage right now. Thank god you said something.

Any comments regarding their body size, including how big they look, how small they look, how much weight they have or have not put on, how big their boobs and their ass are, etc. It's not polite to comment on someone's weight or figure when they're not pregnant, so why do you think it would be acceptable once they are? Are you sure it's not twins? is a popular one. Yeah, she's sure. And now you just sound like an asshole.

You're not eating enough, you are eating for two now. I'm an adult and I know how to listen to my body and eat when it tells me to. Oh, and person number two in there is the size of a piece of fruit. So, no, I'm not really eating for two.

Should you be having that soda/coffee/feta cheese/Tylenol? Fuck off, pregnancy police.

Random miscarriage/stillbirth stories Don't randomly tell me how your sister's best friend's baby died. How is that relevant? How is that going to do anything but make me worry?

Birth horror stories Again, what's the point here?

Judgments about someone's choices, eg natural birth, c-section, breastfeeding, formula feeding, etc. It's none of your business. If someone was sick, you wouldn't ask intrusive questions about their medical history or criticize their medical decisions, so why would you do it when someone is pregnant?

You're just hormonal. Yes, pregnant women have lots of crazy hormones. Yes, it makes us overreact sometimes. But our feelings are still valid. Don't dismiss them as a mere product of body chemistry. If you have a pregnant lady freaking out at you (men, pay attention), and you tell her she's hormonal, you're just going to make it worse.

Smug experiential remarks. Your whole life is going to change. Duh. Just wait until she's screaming at 3 am and there's a diaper blow-out all over her crib. Uh, ok. Get sleep now because you'll never sleep again hahaha. Your figure/stomach/ass is never going to be the same. Pregnant women know all this stuff, as much as you can know about something you haven't personally experienced yet. Do you think you're enlightening us? No. And you know it too. You're just being smug because you've been there before and you need to pad your own ego by acting like you know everything.

You've read all these comments. Don't be that person. Seriously.

Is it wrong?

2008-08-11T09:52:00.001-07:00

That I see commercials for the season premiere of Gossip Girl on September 1 and my first thought is, "ooh I better not be in labor then!" ??

Yeah, I watch trashy teeny-bopper shows. I am emotionally invested in who Blair Waldorf sleeps with. I want to dress like little Jenny Humphrey. You know you secretly watch it too.

XOXO, B.

36 weeks

2008-08-11T09:28:00.000-07:00

One week until I am full-term! Heh heh, um...

I have noticed a tiny bit of ankle swelling this week, but no cankles so far. I'm also happy to say I have made it this far without peeing myself ever. I have pelvic muscles of steel!!

I also think the baby may have dropped. I'm feeling a lot of pressure down low and I haven't felt out of breath as much. Of course I still have heartburn all the time (is it weird that I got excited at Walgreens yesterday when I saw all the flavors of Tums and I wanted to buy new kinds and try them? Um, yeah. It is completely messed up.)

I think I have identified a baby foot now. At least that's what I think this weird lump that keeps zipping around my belly is. I'm not really sure what else it could be.

36 week appointment

2008-08-09T18:07:00.000-07:00

So I am negative for Group B Strep. Yay! This means I do not need antibiotics in labor, so I can choose to opt out of the heplock if I want. I'm not sure, because I do see the advantage of having a heplock, but at least now I don't need one.

I am measuring right on schedule for 36 weeks. The NP palpated my belly and confirmed that baby is head down. She's very unlikely to change position at this point, so that is good news too.

I put on two pounds in a week. That is kind of freaking me out, since I could have up to 6 weeks of pregnancy left. I thought I had not put much on so it was a surprise.

I love how relaxed my OB and NP are. They have not tried to make any predictions about my baby's size so far, which is great because those predictions can be highly inaccurate and lead to unnecessary inductions and c-sections. They haven't started checking my cervix yet just because they feel like it, or tried to predict when I will go into labor. So that is nice.

Also I found out my NP was a teenage arsonist. She used to set her neighbors' lawns on fire for fun. Um...ok then. *Cue nervous laughter*

34/35 week appointment

2008-08-07T15:32:00.000-07:00

My appointment last week was pretty typical except that I got the vaginal/anal swab for Group B strep. Fun.

GBS is a bacteria that naturally lives in some women's vaginas. During vaginal birth, a baby can contract GBS and develop a potentially life-threatening infection.

If I test positive, I will need antibiotics in labor.

My weight gain also slowed down, thank god. At the previous appointment, I had put on 4 pounds in two weeks. This time it was only 1.5 pounds in two weeks. I have already put on more than the minimum my doctor wanted, and I don't want to exceed the maximum, so I'm glad I didn't put on another four pounds!

I have another appointment tomorrow. They are weekly now until I deliver.

Me:

2008-08-04T12:36:00.000-07:00

Little objects come off the ground when I walk by and circle around me. Weird.

Josh and I actually had this conversation recently:

Me: I look like a planet.
Josh: No, honey, not a planet. Maybe just a plutoid.
Me (delighted at my own cleverness): I'm a pregoid!
Josh: You can't be a pregoid. It has to have a T.
Me: Pregtoid? That's totally stupid.
Josh: That's how it works
Me: Then what about asteroids? They aren't astertoids.
Josh: Yeah, but asteroid still has a T in it.
Me: That makes no sense at all. You're wrong.
Josh: No I'm not.
Me: Yes you are!

And on this went until each of us decided the other was being totally ridiculous.

Wow, I used to have a waist

2008-08-03T18:43:00.000-07:00

I just looked at this picture, from a month before I got pregnant. It seems like a totally different person. Right now, I can't believe I ever had a figure like that.

I have a feeling I will never look like that again (come on, we all know I'm not going to start working out postpartum, right? haha).

35 weeks

2008-08-03T14:36:00.000-07:00

2 more weeks until I am officially "full-term!"

5 more weeks until my due date!

7 more weeks until the point at which I've decided I will absolutely no longer be pregnant (42 weeks)!

I don't get g diapers

2008-08-02T18:30:00.001-07:00

I've decided that g diapers are a scam.

G diapers basically consist of a cloth, reusable cover, and flushable inserts. So you still have to do laundry--and deal with poop if there is a blow out.

A g diaper cover costs $16.99-18.99 on their website. The flushable inserts are $52.00 for 160 size smalls and the same price for 128 medium/larges.

Here's why I think it's stupid. If you're already washing the covers, why not just cloth diaper? You can by flushable rice paper liners for cloth diapers. So if you use a cloth diaper cover, cloth prefold and rice paper liner, it's basically like using a g diaper. Except for the cost.

A Thirsties diaper cover (the kind we bought) is $11.25 from Cotton Babies. A prefold is around $1.50-2.00. So even with a cover and prefold, it's still cheaper than the g diaper cover. And a roll of 200 flushable rice paper liners from Kelly's Closet is $11.95.

So you can do the math. For basically the same thing, you will pay significantly more for g diapers. And they don't seem any more convenient than just flat out cloth diapering.

So while they are supposed to be the ideal hybrid of cloth and disposables, they seem to also have the flaws of both. The laundry requirement of cloth diapers, and the higher cost of disposables.

Just my random diaper thought of the day.

ETA: I can see using them if you don't have your own washer and dryer and you have to pay to do laundry somewhere. Or if you're traveling and won't be able to wash cloth diapers. But otherwise, they seem like a ripoff.

Baby sling attempt #1

2008-08-01T17:06:00.000-07:00

Here is my first attempt at making a baby carrier.

I wanted to make a reversible ring sling. This one is made out of a royal purple corduroy and a white and red cotton damask print. It's not finished because the corduroy made it pretty thick and it won't go all the way through my sewing machine. It's also hard to pull through the rings because it's so thick, so next time I will use lighter weight fabrics, especially on a reversible sling.

I think I might add a little contrasting fabric to the end of the tail, too, but I'm not sure.